Sometimes when I read entries like the one posted previously, it really hits me. Three years is not that long ago, and yet it feels like a lifetime ago. I, myself, am trying to grasp what happened. I need justification and understanding, even though I've got a good intuition that when all of this is said and done, I will have rehashed a bunch of things and it will remain the way it is. It's the past, and I cannot change it.
Is it funny? Is it serious? Is it sad? Is it inspiring? Is it god-awful? What is it? Why do I have this? Is there any merit to what I am doing with it?
When I dig down deep inside my soul, the honest answer is that I feel compelled to share my story. Some people think it is noble, some think I just fooled around, some think it was insane, reckless, irresponsible, rebellious... you name it. There are a lot of factors to stories that never were told. I didn't want to worry anyone, because they already were. I lived every moment in Ecuador as if it was my last... on the edge, care-free, all-in. I thought at any moment my family was going to find a way to bring me home. They tried. I'm pretty tough, and resilient.
When I look back on this experience, I see this piece of life. Like a chunk from a timeline, that is chaotic, sporadic, colorful, animated, beautiful in all of its raw, primitive beauty. I would never take any of it back. Not one second of my entire time in Ecuador do I regret. I cannot, because even in the low times, I learned so much. I don't remember things specifically, but I was affected emotionally, if that makes any sense. I lived deeply, thoroughly, completely. The truth of the matter is, it's not some tragic story. I'm still here. I'm fine.
And I'm still dreaming big. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment