What's love got to do with it?

Love has got a lot to do with it. What great story doesn't have some sort of romance? Not to fear, because mine has plenty. I know have entirely excluded it until this very moment and that is because it was complex, and I am still uncertain about it all. These are the people I worry about in this story. I worry about giving away their identity, bringing up things that may in any way, shape or form hurt them further. Young and naive are lame excuses for the hurt I have caused some very kind, good people.

I learned a lot about love in Ecuador. Both times I was there, actually. Love can be a very difficult thing. It can be lovely and it can be heinous. Even now, I don't completely understand it. Yet I am fortunate to have met some incredible people in my life, and to share our love. I hate that sometimes when it's all said and done, it just doesn't exist, or isn't right or whatever. Sometimes it just doesn't work out. And as I am convinced, love can sometimes have horrible timing.

I went to Ecuador with a boyfriend. I left Ecuador with a different boyfriend. Obviously, I am not with either anymore. However, both of these guys are two people I still care about and respect. If I had it to do over, I would do it all the same, except how I handled the break ups in each situation. I hate break ups. I am horrible with breakups. They make me nervous, and honestly, I am 23 and I still don't know how to do it. I have, but is there like a rule book somewhere that tells you how to get out of a relationship doing all the right things? There really, really ought to be one.

Breaking someone's heart is possibly the most awful feeling in the world. I would rather hibernate for a year than have to tell someone that I can't be who they want me to be, or feel how they want me to feel, and I can't reciprocate the way they feel. Yet I have done it, and not until way later have I realized how trying to protect someone's feelings caused me to manipulate the situation, drag it out, and make things worse. I really need to get my hands on that book.

Here we go, into a part of the story that makes me nervous to share. I'm changing the names of these guys, for their privacy and protection. I may have to edit some of the stories for this same purpose. Here we go...

My Ecuadorian Love Story Sharing time has begun!!